Breakfast: Nothing.
Mid-Morning: Nothing.
Lunch: 2pm
1 Lrg. Bowl of Popcorn
1 Bowl of Tomato & Basil Soup
1 Grilled-Cheese Sandwich (on Rye)
16oz. Diet Rite
Mid-Afternoon: 5pm
1 Peanut Butter & Banana Visalus Shake
Evening: 9pm
1 Round Steak (w/Sweet-Pepper Tabasco Sauce)
1 Garden Salad (w/Blue Cheese Dressing)
46oz. Water
State of Being:
It doesn’t happen often, but every once in a while, I have a dream/nightmare that leaves me feeling really shaken upon waking, but when I think about it I can totally understand the dredged-up issues that fueled it.
So, while it’s not like me to really talk about dreams here on the blog, I think I would like to share the one I had last night. It illuminates a lot about stuff that’s been weighing on me lately.
Myself and a good number of family members (both immediate and extended) were all living-together-at/visiting (somehow both at the same time) at my grandmother’s house in Stow.
Everybody was going about typical, daily activities; cooking, doing the laundry, tending to the yardwork, etc. And all the while, there was this large black-bear hanging around. It would wander around in the backyard or snoop around in the basement, sometimes it would nose about in the corners of the living room or the bedrooms upstairs.
All the while, we’re there… just going about our business. On the surface it seemed like everybody was OK with the bear’s presence. It was as if it were a house-cat or the family dog.
At the same time, everybody was aware that it was dangerous and that we all had to be careful around it. Every once in a while, it would get angry and start coming after me. The prevailing consensus was that, when that happened you just needed to get something between you and it, so that it couldn’t get to you, and keep it at bay until it got bored or calmed down and went off to do something else.
This kept happening.
Every time, I would grab a nearby table or large chair, one time there was somehow even a shopping cart close at hand. And I would just keep the object between me and the bear. It would swat at the object, growl and roar at me, but eventually it would just kind of give up and walk away.
As the dream progressed, I was growing more and more disturbed by the bear. I kept thinking, "yeah… for the most part it just seems curious and all, but at some point something’s going to go wrong.
It’s not an ‘if.’ It’s a ‘when.’
It IS going to get ahold of someone and something really terrible is going to happen. We really need to do something about it. But, there’s nothing we can do."
So, we just kept living with it and trying to linger in the time before the inevitable calamity, for as long as we could and doing our best to pay no attention to the fact that soon, the whole situation was going turn absolutely horrible, that any moment we would suddenly have to face tragedy that would strike each and every one of us to the deepest places in our hearts.
For the time being we just carried on as best we could, and tried to savor the last moments of peace, however many or few they may have been.
See you tomorrow.
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