Day Seventy-Four

Breakfast: 9am
8oz. Round Steak
46oz. Water

Mid-Morning: 12noon
2tbsp. Organic Peanut Butter
46oz. Water

Lunch: 4pm
1 Double Mocha Cappuccino Visalus Shake

Mid-Afternoon: 6pm
1/2 Cup of Cottage Cheese
1 Mashed Avocado
46oz. Water

Evening: 8pm
1 Butterfinger Visalus Shake

Walk-Count:

Squat-Count:

Plank-Count:

State of Being:
Feeling a little better today than I did yesterday. Still a little down, but I can feel that I’m coming out of this latest little valley.

To contrast yesterday’s rumination on some of my lingering issues, I thought I would post today just a short list of all of the things that I am thankful for on a daily basis. I further thought that I would narrow this list down by including only things which are new developments. In other words, only things that have changed in my life since I started my Challenge, shortly after Thanksgiving.


Here we go…

1 - I wake up in the morning.

Yes, that is a change. I used to just open my eyes and cease to be asleep. Now, however… I feel awake, when I’m awake. I feel connected to the world around me. I see, hear, smell, taste and feel my life happening from moment to moment. I’m no longer just tolerating events and waiting for my next little escape and/or meal.

My life before was out of focus, muffled and muted. Now,… it’s vibrant and eventful and every single day is significant and important to me.

2 - I am a member of my family.

Again,… yes, that is a change. I used to be a withdrawn recluse who rarely, if ever even saw my family. Now, I look forward to each and every chance I get to be with family,… even to talk to them on the phone. It was never a malicious absence. Rather, a self-embarrassment and a feeling of unworthiness. Now, that’s no longer something that keeps me away from those I Love.

3 - I am creating again.

I consider myself a writer. At any given time there are several projects that I am working on. For a long time, however, practically everything in my “Current Projects” folder consisted of revisions, rewrites and re-workings of old ideas. For about the last month, everything I’ve written has been a new idea.

It’s hard to describe just how great a change this is. It’s new life thrumming up through the roots and along the branches of a previously withered tree. Getting ideas down on the page, fleshing them out and developing them no longer feels like pushing boulders uphill. The words come without my having to look for them. They’re just there, pouring out of me like a floodgate’s been thrown open.

4 - My breath has lost its running-shoes…

…and hence, is far easier for me to catch. I mentioned a couple of days ago about how I was able to climb a flight of stairs and come back down, as well as walking about a hundred feet without ever losing my breath in the first place. Now, also… when I do get winded, I’m rarely so winded that I feel I might pass out, and it only takes me thirty-seconds at maximum to return to a normal rate of breath.

5 - My cane has become a luxury, rather than a necessity.

I only need my cane with me in the event that my knee becomes so sore that I have trouble walking. Otherwise, I can walk without it. In fact, even when my knee starts acting up, I could easily manage without the cane, at this point.

6 - I’ve reached orbit.

A friend of mine once gave me an analogy for the experience and struggle of establishing new habits. When you begin, it’s like the space shuttle, leaving the launch pad. All that weight. All that inertia. The shuttle has to burn so much fuel just to get up into the air and climb. But, once it reaches orbit, it levels off. It reaches equilibrium with its gravity and soars on its momentum alone, only occasionally needing to use its maneuvering thrusters to keep itself on course.

I’m still fighting. But, it’s a fight I’m winning at a walk, left-handed while chatting on a cell phone, at this point. It’s, at least for the time being, very easy for me to stay focused, stay faithful to my diet and nutrition-plan and not cheat. I’m not binging anymore, at all. Now, my diet-plan is just… what I do. I’m barely even thinking about it anymore.

This is completely unprecedented for me.

Completely.

Every other attempt I’ve ever made at dieting, in my entire life, was like pulling teeth, while hanging upside down in a blizzard. Just staying faithful to a diet for even a day was a massive effort.

This time was no exception. The only thing that changed this time was that I stuck with it through that initial gauntlet. I’m through the fire, at least for now. If times get tough again,… which they probably will at some point. I know what it takes to get through it.

7 - By FAR the biggest change to my life for which I am most grateful, has been the reaction I’ve seen from people following my blog and my YouTube channel.

There’s a certain phenomenon that I have become acutely aware of, but don’t really understand. It’s something that shouldn’t be happening, and that is that there’s a huge stigma surrounding overweight people, or more to the point, just people with poor health. We’re not supposed to talk about it. We’re not supposed to feel OK with it, or acknowledge that it’s a problem. This is true, despite the fact that there ARE SO DAMNED MANY OF US that it’s beyond ridiculous that we should feel so stigmatized.

I started this blog with the intention of just chronicling what I was doing in case people might want to see what it was like to deal with these issues. What I’ve learned as a result is that I am anything but alone in possessing those issues. I committed, right from the start to being fully open and transparent about what I was going through. I didn’t know that not only would people be OK with me doing that, but they would actually come out in support of it.

It really is OK to talk about this stuff. I put it all out there, not knowing if that would be the case and you guys have stepped forward and showed me that it was, and that I was not alone.

I Love you guys.
From the core of me; thank you.

See you tomorrow.



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