Challenge Two: Day Twenty-Four

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Breakfast: 11am
1 Butterfinger Visalus Shake

Mid-Morning: Nothing.

Lunch: 4pm
2 Round Steak (w/Butter Sauce, Cheese & Cumin)
3 Cups of Steamed Broccoli & Cauliflower (w/Butter)
16oz. V8 (Low Sodium, Spicy Hot)

Mid-Afternoon: 6pm
2 Chocolate Visalus Shakes

Evening: 9pm
1 Round Steak(w/ Butter Sauce, Cheese & Cumin)
2 Chicken Breasts (w/BBQ Sauce)
3 Cups Stir Fry Veggies (w/Butter, Soy Sauce & Whole Grain Rice)
46oz. Water



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State of Being:
Yeah, so… I missed a couple days there.

The reason is that, I couldn’t really eat on Friday. I was too sick. Couldn’t keep anything down. Not even water. Now, I’ve gone back and postscripted those two days, (Friday and Saturday)… but there really isn’t much to say about them. Here’s why…

I finally collapsed from exhaustion Friday evening and I slept…

…and slept…

…and slept…

I only woke up a few times to use the bathroom. When these brief moments occurred, I had no awareness of what day or night it was.

Actually, I take that back. For a couple hours Saturday morning, I hopped on League of Legends with a friend of mine for a couple matches. But, that was because I was having trouble getting back to sleep and needed to divert my attention for a while. It wasn’t long before the giant Demon-Prince-of-the-Black-Sand-of-Endless-Slumber found me, threw a handful of the ebony turf of the dreamtime shore into my eyes, then opened his mammoth jaws and swallowed me whole again,… so to speak.

Then, today at about 11am… I think… (in my food log that’s really just a guess. Truthfully, I didn’t look at a clock until lunch,) I woke up. I felt a hell of a lot better. I can tell that I’m still sick, but it’s significantly better than it was.

Also, I was RAVENOUS… as you can probably tell from looking at my food-log today.

In fact, the only reason I had “Nothing,” for mid-morning, in between breakfast and lunch, rather than say… a handful of steaks, a chunk of pavement from the sidewalk outside and/or a couple of my neighbors with ketchup, is that I dosed off again after breakfast and a shower.

I am starting to feel better though. I’d planned on trying to get in to see my doctor tomorrow morning if I hadn’t improved by then. I’m thinking that probably wont’ be necessary now.

See you tomorrow!



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Challenge Two: Day Twenty-Three

No Entry Today.

I was Asleep.

Yes, all day.

I think my body finally decided to go into hibernation in order to fight this infection.

Challenge Two: Day Twenty-Two

No Entry Today.

Didn't eat anything.

Couldn't do anything.

Too sick.

WAY too sick.

Challenge Two: Day Twenty-One

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Breakfast: 7am
1 “Ka-Berry Ka-BOOM!!!” Visalus Shake

Mid-Morning: 10am - 1pm
The sweet, sweet oblivion of NyQuil-Nap-Time

Lunch: 3pm
1 Apple-Cinnamon Visalus Shake

Mid-Afternoon: 6pm
1 Chicken Breast (w/Copious Quantities of Tabasco Sauce,… when you don’t have the right flavor, just use a lot more! lol)
16oz. V8 (Low Sodium, Spicy Hot)
46oz. Water

Evening: 8pm
1 Jalapeno-Filled Cheeseburger Patty (no bun, w/American Cheese & Chive-n-Onion Cream Cheese, also Ketchup)
2 Cups of Steamed Broccoli & Cauliflower (w/pepper)
46oz. Water

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State of Being:
Not feeling too bad.

I’ve gone from “Sick-as-a-Plague-Rat” to merely “Under-the-Weather.”

It’s really weird sometimes. I’ll seriously start feeling better and then, out of nowhere I’ll start getting chills and aches and fatigue again. That will last for a couple hours,… I think. Actually, I have no idea since my patience has completely worn through and now, at the first sign of recurring symptoms, I dose-up on NyQuil or Tylenol and dive head-first into an afternoon coma.

Just took the trash out a couple minutes ago. Apparently someone just moved out, because that dumpster is buried under a mountain of stuff. Lots of furniture leaning up against it and the bin itself is full. So, I got a bit of an impromtu extreme-climbing workout in.

New Videos coming soon!

See you tomorrow!



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Challenge Two: Day Twenty

Breakfast: 7pm
1 Chocolate-Covered Strawberry Visalus Shake

Mid-Morning: Nothing.

Lunch: 1pm
1 Oreo Cookies & Cream Visalus Shake

Mid-Afternoon: 4pm
1 Round Steak (w/Melted Mexican-Blend Cheese,… *grabbed the wrong bag out of the fridge by mistake, didn’t realize it wasn’t cheddar until the first bite. Not bad to taste though.)
2 Tomatoes (spiced with cumin)
32oz. Water

Evening: 8pm
1 Gigantoriffic Cheeseburger (no bun)
1 Tomato (spiced with cumin)
46oz. Water

Walk-Count:


State of Being:
Yeah, not going to work-out again until I’m at least a few days on the other side of this seasonal flu-thing, I get. I think one of the reasons I keep getting sick might be that I’m not giving myself enough recovery time before returning to working out. So, I’m going to be taking it easy on physical activity for a little while.

I was thinking a lot today about where my head’s been at lately, recent slip-ups, etc.

It’s true, I slipped on my diet for a few days there. It’s all documented, here.

But, I’ve slipped-up on my state-of-mind, my attitude and approach for a few weeks now. This, is the much worse and more destructive slip. So, the fact that it went on longer is certainly not a good thing. Although, I’ve learned from the experience.

The stress and depression from recent family business really knocked me for a loop. Knocked me clean off my path and into the ditch.

But, I’m up now. I’ve got some scrapes and bruises and I’m covered in mud (good practice for next year's little day-trip.) But, I’m back on my feet, and moving again. Moving with conviction.

See you tomorrow!



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Challenge Two: Day Nineteen

Breakfast: Nothing.

Mid-Morning: Nothing.

Lunch: Nothing.

Mid-Afternoon: Nothing.

Evening: Nothing.

Walk-Count:


State of Being:
Nope. I didn’t eat today.

I’m sick. This, however… is a regular thing. What I’m going through today, happens to me, like clockwork, twice a year. It’s a fever, headaches, bodyaches, and fatigue. It happens at the beginning and the end of winter. It usually only lasts a day or two, though, so I should be fine.

I have felt all day that I wouldn’t be able to keep anything down. Even the thought of eating turned my stomach.

I should be feeling a little better tomorrow and by Thursday I should be fine.

Not much to say today, guys. Sorry. I’ve just been absolutely wiped out today. Not much to report. :)

See you tomorrow!



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Challenge Two: Day Eighteen

Breakfast: 10am
1 Sweet Cream Visalus Shake

Mid-Morning: 12pm
1 Chicken Breast
16oz. V8 (Low Sodium, Spicy Hot)
32oz. Water

Lunch: 3pm
1 Avocado & Lime Visalus Shake

Mid-Afternoon: 5pm
1/2 a Round Steak (w/Pepper & Cumin)
16oz. V8 (Low Sodium, Spicy Hot)
32oz. Water

Evening: 7pm
1/2 a Round Steak (w/Cheddar Cheese, Pepper & Cumin)
1 Tomato (Cut into Halves with Melted Cheddar)
32oz. Water

Walk-Count:


Shadow-Boxing: (Minutes)


Squats:


Planks:



State of Being:

Some quotes from yesterday’s post:

1. ”It’s true, I have a condition (Advanced Progressive Insulin Resistance Syndrome) and a cluster of co-morbidities along with it. However, I’ve also mentioned that my weight and health issues are due only in part to said condition. Much,… in fact *most* of my problem is my own habits and behavior. Yeah, I have a condition. But, it’s MY condition and hence MY responsibility to take ownership of it and to manage it.”

2. “I don't want to fail. Even the idea of it is heartbreaking to me. But, I'm really starting to feel like it may not be up to me anymore.”

…Hypocrisy and Self-Contradiction.


***

“So, I’m standing still. I’m not giving-in to the temptation, but I’m not really doing anything else either. I’m just kind of,… stuck. Again. Like I was for years.”

…Inaccuracy.


***

“I’m not really sure why I’m not doing it. I feel very much like I owe it to myself…. I can’t explain why it hasn’t happened yet. It really feels like it should have. I have no idea what is keeping me together and focused. I really don’t.”

…Lies.


***

If you tend to spot a lot of hypocritical contradictions, willful inaccuracies and outright lies in someone’s description of their problems, you may be assured that you are speaking to an addict.

I am an addict.

Yes, I have an insulin-condition,... and in addition to that, I am also an addict.

Someone addicted to pain pills, for example, probably legitimately needed them at some point. The addiction, however came into existence because that person made bad choices as a faulty and misguided coping-mechanism and ended-up self-destructively abusing the situation created by the initial condition.

Need, pain, and suffering do not create entitlement to further abuses. Period.

Looking over and re-reading yesterday’s post, I am faced with some ugly truths. Truths that are difficult to face. Truths about what I’ve done to myself and what I’ve further done to attempt to justify it.

However, I am also comforted by another truth, a truth not about these few things I’ve done, in a moment of weakness and frustration, but about what I am and what I am not. As I look over my thoughts from last night, I can honestly state the following truth…

I am NOT this person.

I am a healthy man.
And healthy men, do not do this.

I am a powerful soul.
And powerful souls, do not do this.

Current circumstances have embarrassed my health and my strength, but these are only temporary seemings. What I have seemed to be is not what I am, regardless of how long the seemings have existed.

A lion doesn’t stop being a lion simply because he finds himself in a hunter’s net.

As for the last couple of weeks?
…In bringing down a mountain, you will occasionally hurt yourself. You will break bones. You will grind your knuckles. You will tear your skin. You will be sore. These setbacks change nothing. The mountain is still the party on notice. The mountain is still the one who should be afraid.

Thank you to everyone who emailed and called with support and encouragement.

I am back on track and I am committing right now to staying the course.

I am still very stressed. Things are still very difficult. But, I’m still alive, and as long as I’m still alive, I am advancing.

…Something which would certainly not be possible without your support.

Thank you.



See you tomorrow.



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